Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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