I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
