ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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