If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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