i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
