The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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