Can i not drive my cunt home
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
