there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
