I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
