So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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