yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
