it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
