At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
