i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
