Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
