Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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