Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize