tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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