You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
