Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
