This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
