I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
