Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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