He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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