theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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