Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
