dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
