Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
True strength comes from lack of pants
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
