my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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