I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize