Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
