Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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