what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize