She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize