The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize