I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize