She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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