I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
COCAINE IS GR8
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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