My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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