after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
