im six kinds of drunk right now
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
