His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize