you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
someone owes me an orgasm
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
