I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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