i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
