i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
