David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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