I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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