sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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