i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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