So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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