I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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