We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
