Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
