my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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