i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You are the jesus of drinking
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
